Getting Old

My Dad died when he was 38. I saw a lot of death as a kid, and for a long time I thought that dying young was the worst thing that could happen. When my grandmother would have trouble standing up and tell me “Don’t ever get old” I would joke with her, and say it beat the alternative.

Lately I have started to wonder. I don’t qualify as “old” yet, but my parents and their friends are in their 70’s now, and a lot of it isn’t pleasant. Forget the whole “golden years” myth. My step-father was just diagnosed with prostate cancer, and his best friend’s wife has lung cancer and Alzheimer’s.

Every time I talk to my mother, someone else they know is sick, dying or dead. And rarely did they die peacefully in their sleep. There is a lot of suffering going on.

It just seems wrong. After a life spent working hard, raising a family and taking care of others, retirement and old age should be a time of vacations to sunny places and taking up hobbies. And I suppose for some it is. For so many, though, it is a time of pain, memory loss, helplessness, dependence and, of course, death.

I know that life isn’t fair. I got over that fantasy a long time ago. But it seems that there should be more to look forward to at the end than arthritis.

I'm not sure what the answer is. I am certainly not recommending mass suicide (or euthanasia) for everyone over 50. I guess I feel that we just need to appreciate the time we have more, and not put things off until "when I retire". Because who knows what will have happened by then?

I will end with a quote from Pernell Roberts, who is now about 80, but said this when he was much younger: "I find life very precious. I find it very immediate. I do not have a long-term point of view. I may be dead tomorrow. So it's very important that I do now what I want to do."